Shotgun's Daily Limerick

Cher’s Not Dead

shotgun1049 — Fri, 27 Jan 2012 18:23:04 +0000

I admit that I find myself bitter,
At the endless death hoaxes on Twitter.
Though Cher is not dead,
The rumors have spread.
But it’s a tad soon to Obit her.

Are You My Daddy?

shotgun1049 — Thu, 26 Jan 2012 21:57:25 +0000

Does anyone else think it’s sad,
That they’re questioning Khloe’s real dad?
It wasn’t The Juice,
Who Robert cut loose.
So the stylist’s the next name to add.

More Than a Memory

shotgun1049 — Wed, 25 Jan 2012 22:16:17 +0000

Congrats are in store for Garth Brooks,
Who stood up to the hospital crooks.
He gave half a mill,
They didn’t fulfill,
So he got back the money they took.

Bold Turkey

shotgun1049 — Mon, 23 Jan 2012 15:53:05 +0000

When accepting his first Golden Moose,
Craig Morgan used the excuse,
To thank those who fight,
For what they think’s right.
But the turkey’s don’t like the abuse!

RV & Camping show

shotgun1049 — Fri, 20 Jan 2012 18:47:03 +0000

Today you can come out and see,
Acres of tents and RV’s.
Stop and Say “Hi”,
And it’s possible I,
Will give you a hat or a tee.

Short Stuff

shotgun1049 — Fri, 20 Jan 2012 18:44:40 +0000

Well physical time’s come around,
And it seems I’ve put on a few pounds.
But what makes me flinch,
Is shrinking an inch!
Cuz I’m not that high off of the ground!

Cold Hard Truth

shotgun1049 — Wed, 18 Jan 2012 21:25:55 +0000

We Northeast Wisconsin folk,
Are ensheathed in Jack Frost’s icy cloak.
Cold fingers and toes,
And frost bitten nose.
It just makes me glad I don’t smoke.

Electric Personality

shotgun1049 — Tue, 17 Jan 2012 22:34:34 +0000

In the winter I feel like I’m trapped.
Each thing I touch I get zapped!
Electricity,
With SPARKS I can see!
I’m finding it hard to adapt!

And a bonus haiku…

Everywhere I go
Static Electricity
My fingers are numb

Rapier Twit

shotgun1049 — Mon, 16 Jan 2012 22:15:36 +0000

Golden Globes Host Ricky Gervais,
Is thinking of changing his ways!
He’ says he’s not mean,
So he’s keeping it clean.
Much to the networks dismays.

Ghost Ship

shotgun1049 — Fri, 13 Jan 2012 21:16:57 +0000

When a Caribbean Cruise features Kate,
People aren’t taking the bait.
If she’s on the trip,
They’d rather jump ship.
I’d be hoping my raft would inflate.